Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Reason #4: It's not that they're bad drivers...'s that they're f***ing dumb.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Reason #3: Bugs

One of the worst thing about Atlanta is the bugs. They are everywhere! Inside your apartment, outside your apartment, at the park, not at the park. Come on! WTF, God??? Such a beautiful day like today (80 degrees and sunny, no clouds) can be RUINED by a sting or bite from one of these hideous creatures.

The picture above was taken by one of our writers after a fierce battle in which the writer was victorious. Barely. He had to put up a hell of a fight with the newest in tennis racquet technology. Luckily for MannDubinBlog, he succeeded in ending the miserable life of this terrible antagonist.

Seriously, though, bugs in Atlanta are wack. I mean, sure they have worse bugs in places like Africa and Asia, but this ISN'T Africa or Asia. This is America. And in America we don't tolerate obstinance from anyone- people, animals, or bugs. Do they have bugs like this in New York? I've never been so I doubt it. Do they have bugs like this in San Francisco? Maybe, but they probably do a lot of drugs so the bugs are much more chill. Or at least the people do more drugs so they're cool with the bugs. You know, one with nature...WOAH. I almost feel high just talking about it. Forget that.

This is Atlanta, and I hate bugs. Since Atlanta is full of 'em, I hate Atlanta.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Reason #2: It's like living in the 19th century

This morning all of the traffic lights were out in the area around Emory University (where I live). Better yet, the only police on the scene seemed to be intent on driving through the intersections as many times as possible without stopping to help direct traffic.

OK, so that sucks, but it happens everywhere. I know. The difference here is that this same thing happened less than two weeks ago. So in the midst of a beautiful spring day Atlanta drivers were forced to suffer more than usual. It gets worse.

Since people in Atlanta have NO IDEA HOW TO DRIVE, no one knew what to do at each intersection. Half of the people drove straight through. A quarter of the people drove into the intersection, blocked cars traveling across the intersection, and then proceeded through anyway. The final quarter of the people were so confused by what they were seeing that they just stopped and let several cars through before continuing.


Because the services in Atlanta wouldn't suffice in a town half its size, and because the people don't understand very simple traffic principles, I hate Atlanta.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Reason #1: It's the South

We were both born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. Remember- that's not our fault ('tis the fault of the birth-givers). At times Atlanta can seem like the 7th layer of hell; when it's hot and muggy, cold and rainy, or any time you're unfortunate enough to be stuck behind the wheel of a car.

There's also the fact that Atlanta happens to be located in the South. This is such a shame because it means on top of all its other problems, Atlanta is also filled with southerners. These people, I've come to realize, LOVE to share their "patriotism" via bumper sticker. Check out this guy:
I mean, come on! I can't imagine riding behind this guy for a minute (besides the annoyance of the bumper sticker, I bet you'd get dip-spit on your windshield).

So, if Atlanta were located anywhere outside the south, this post may not have been necessary. But, alas, Atlanta is stuck in the middle of Georgia, where the only thing more red than our clay is our politics. So, for being filled with stereotypical southerners, I hate Atlanta.